This post hits all too close to home for me, as I too have spent years blaming my mother for all my struggles… It’s refreshing to read how Andrea has come to see this so clearly in her life. I am coming to the same clarity (slowly!), and starting to treat my mom with the love and appreciation she deserves.
Now, if only I could somehow prevent my daughter from going through the same thing… Or maybe I just need to remember this and understand when we get to the same place. 🙂
(This is part 2 of a series on how my mindfulness meditation practice helped me to find forgiveness, and how I uncovered an entire place in my awareness that had previously been completely hidden in darkness. Read part 1 here.)
When times were shitty, I directed all of the energy of blame for all of what I saw to be going wrong in my personal circumstances to my mother. I hated her. In fact, as far as I was concerned, she was the one person who ruined my life. Most or all of my problems were because of her, either directly or indirectly. I would fantasize about how much my life would be better if she wasn’t in it.
I disowned my mother. As far as I was concerned I had an idea or an image in my mind of what a mother was supposed to be, and…
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